The most practical advice I can give.

You can’t fix her.

There is so much you can do. But you cannot fix her.

(Her, being your stepkids’/foster kids’/grandkids’ mom, or dad. Or teacher or principal. Or your kids’ friends’ mom. Or your mother/sister/whoever in law. Or your own mother/sister/whoever.  Or the energy that permeates your house when your kids seem to feed off of each other and collectively don’t listen. Her, really, being the person or thing who causes you to flare up in irritation and sometimes downright exasperation that they Just. Can’t. Get. It. She can infect a lot of things.)

Here’s what you can do:

  • Breathe. Stay centered. Find your inner peace and cling to it like a life raft.
  • Be the mainstay, the touchstone, the constant for anyone else caught up in the storm. Be the light on the shore. Your presence, no matter the amount of time in between, will be the thing that makes the difference.
  •  Focus on your own growth. Open your heart to new experiences. Live your best life and what used to be a tsunami will start to feel more like a gentle current you pass over.
  • Allow yourself grace when you need to retreat because you are worn down. The chaos impacts you. Of course it does.
  • Stand tall in your own strength and remember that no matter the size of the challenge, you can withstand it and overcome it. No matter how many times you are knocked down, stand again.

I know it can seem impossible, but I believe you can do this.

Focus on what you can do. And the can’t will cease to matter.

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