If you follow me on Instagram, you might have caught a little discussion that I had in my Story on Saturday. I had read yet another post on a stepmom page on Facebook about some troubles that a stepmom was having with the biomom in her situation. This led me to declare that Stepmom Soul is a BM-Free space.
I had always kind of kept it in the back of my mind that I might want to write about some of the tools that I’ve assembled in coping with the BM in my own situation, but it was right there that I realized that the best, most effective tool has nothing to do with BM or any specific coping skills related to her. I touched on it in my last post, but I am saying it here, again, and even more clearly: FOCUS ON YOU.
One of the basics of the Law of Attraction is the idea that where your energy and focus is spent is what is returned to you. So I’m going to say for the last time, because I truly believe and practice this in my own life: Focusing on BM just brings more BM into your life.
Yes, I know that you can’t choose whether she is in your life or not. However, bear with me. You do have a say in this.
Here is my dumb analogy: If you pour a drop of poison into a cup already full of poison, you just have more bitter poison. But if you pour that same drop into a gallon of beautiful, life giving water? You might not even notice that poison. Quit tainting your own water. Fill yourself so full of the good stuff that even if a drop were to make it in, you wouldn’t even taste it.
Each and every thought you have about BM is poison to your water until you figure out how to fill yourself up. Once you are full, those thoughts about BM become influenced by your beautiful heart and mind and cease to be poison to you. You would be amazed by the room in your heart if you give it the chance to open. And even more amazed by your ability to let the negativity roll off your back once you have let it go from your life.
Stepmom Soul is about choosing to focus on the positive and on our own light. This is not a space for letting poison in. This is about having the courage to let go of your struggles in order to embrace the good within you.
You can’t shine if you keep letting in darkness.
Shine bright, Stepmom Soul.